Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot.Com Bikini

I am addicted to online shopping. That is a fact. Online shopping to me is probably like what a blowjob is to a man . Quick, satisfactory and it only requires a few body parts to enjoy it.
As I work in IT and am forced to sit in front of a PC for 9 hours, I have got no alternative - a part from working- but to use my little fingers and my big mouse for the purpose of buying virtually good looking stuff.
Oh oui! Because it is most of the time amazing online. So amazing looking that you keep adding items in your basket - even if you dont have the means/need to buy the sky high platform shoes with purple sequins on the toe - until you reach a frightening three digit amount (without the delivery).

Maybe I should wait until payday, your sensible side advises.
Fuck this, this dress is gorgeous, your female side says.
How long is this piece of crap going to last me , your male side questions.

So, because you are so excited about the prospect of receiving an item that is really not necessary for your survival ( but that will still look good on Armaggeddon day), you pay for next day delivery.

And you wait anxiously like a geek needing his daily dose of Internet Explorer fuck ups.

Two days ago I ordered a bikini that is supposed to make me look like Cheryl Cole.

Today, I received 3 patches of material with bits of string linking them toghether. The crotch patch seems to have been designed for women with the anatomy of a Teletubby. The boobie patches are shaped for maximum titty escapage.

What am I supposed to think? Is Cheryl Cole a transvestite Teletubby?